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Research 1 It was always dinner then a film I thought to top it in his public conversation where it wheeled Breakfast was a lark, jammed and coincided from the dreams to fortress like a couple I couldn't get the hook or when it was Penultimately I had to blank Another day to quail, a vice to con for him Freedom was a drink as if it killed me When can I return to where I lived? 2 She polishes her imprimatur They keel and part as if I were a saint Coins clack down the ledges. Ships nostalgically turn I stare into the dribbling rainbow oil spill conjuring my future Flames splash the casino. Gentle machines water the streets Slaves sew my clothes outside the law I enjoy the government art, visionary and affirming, and undiagnosed life When I consider When I consider what my life has been the tightening streets that stuck me to their side the turning penitential globe inscribed with gold and thorn, I picket what I've seen as if the will were new, the heart were keen before despair became where you abide alone with cold ideals and clinging pride acts and dreams spread out across the screen I pause at the silky prolonged sunset that death or god should taper off and shrink as all the city's woe and all the skies say not to remember but to forget and chafing through the cars I fall to think how sorrows lift and pleasures cauterize Who Praise You When I see his face it's as if it were always there and my eyes stop tunnelling past people and rooms and stop at him like a mirror But I pass, speechless Those around him talk closely My head bows down its pang of glory and torn eyes when the room empties Where should I go to hear your voices to see your skin like bright paper, me, unable to speak? The streets torment and people bunch, windows and hope slip by More alive than myself which night closes |
Gig Ryan's latest book is Pure and Applied, published by Paper Bark Press, PO Box 59, Brooklyn, NSW 2083, Australiahttp://www.geko.net.au/~pbp/ "Research" and "When I consider" first appeared in Heat magazine. Gig Ryan, photo copyright © Margie Medlin, 1998 |
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You can read Gig Ryan's eulogy for John Forbes in Jacket # 3. This material is copyright © Gig Elizabeth Ryan and Jacket magazine 1998 The URL address of this page is http://jacketmagazine.com/04/ryan-gig-3poems.html |
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