Benjamin Friedlander

Three Poems

Galang

Why Do Jews Reject Jesus as Their Savior?

When a Cop Sees a Black Woman

Galang

Tamil Tigers engage in face licking
because they can. They are a term
of opprobrium given by bloggers

to four persons
held responsible
for all cats, living or extinct.

Predatory carnivores killed
after blowing up their vessel.
There are various legends

about how they got their nickname.
One has to do with the tasty
round fruit

with orange stripes
called the “scrotum.”
Referring to Tamil Tigers

simply as “wormhole aliens”
suck a dick’ll help you yeah.
Like mouse testicles,

they may hold stem cell promise
for teenage boys.
And the same holds true for humans.

But because Galang discredits
cream pie pussy thumbnails,
the flushed waste

from an airplane toilet
is an exiled Cardassian tailor,
former spy for the Obsidian Order.

Just so you know, the Tamil Tigers
are a military organisation
of mature gay men

aimed at rebuilding Kasidy Yates,
freighter captain
and Sisko’s second wife.


Why Do the Jews Reject Jesus as Their Savior?

Answer: Some people do not think they need a savior.
Their graves are mere boxes left in the tundra.

Deep dish rims with deep dish flatulence
loves company, lawyer gifts, energy-based healing.

What is Norplant? Can I use you
for a scented candle?

A subcortical injection of baked stuffed piglet,
ethnic colon cleansing, nocturnal egg neglect.

The history of those who divide their existence
into Caramel Matzoh Crunch and Chocolate Salami.

You can add some dude with a mud fetish bending over
and listening as we pray, OK?

Here’s a quote for you: money is the root of all evil.
Incubation period: thirteen years.

But “Protocols” isn’t just a lyric site.
They use spoons, a social engineering device

and not the first trojan targeted at Jews.
The Jews

eat
with hands and chopsticks.

The wild Tatars
treat them with great cruelty,

using an unweaned piglet game cube.
When I woke up, my cat was puffing a joint.

He blew smoke in my ear
and I chased my tail for hours.


When a Cop Sees a Black Woman

He can’t keep his hands
on nothin’ else.
He’d trade his badge

for a chance to pluck,
tear and eat like a minor stud
such as Darius Miles—

who made it back to action
a little early last night.
If she is bad, he can’t see it.

But he will give as good as he gets (yeah),
grabbing hold of her
precious arm. What good is the hollow

inside his grip
if he can’t
feel the shaft should be

level to the ground?
Day old chicks
can carry

salmonella in their bowels
so wash your hands
after handling

her loose spirals, Officer
Friendly. Black hair
is more fragile than most.

It requires TLC
when a cop sees a black woman
he can’t think

everything through. She is
the shiznit. She tempts and she taunts.
She speaks in a bold

outspoken manner. But bypassing
a metal detector, his forced
and never-bending

monotone drone
is not a factor
in her arrest.